"Should"

Should. 

A word that strikes fear into a mother's heart.

Don't believe me? 

When I was pregnant, I signed up for several weekly update emails from various websites.  Every week they would send me the details of what was going on with my little jellybean.  We went through the entire produce section in terms of size- cherry, grape, apple, medium banana, cantaloupe.  I was told when he would be getting eyelashes, fingernails or hair.  It was great to know exactly what was going on in my body.

But did I know exactly what was going on in my body?  Nope.  On a weekly basis I wouldn't be able to tell if Drew increased in size from a small banana to a large banana.  I didn't know if he started getting fingernails in week 24 or 30.  But because the emails told me so, I figured that was going on and proudly told my husband he was the size of a red delicious apple because the emails said so.

Well, once you have the baby, those emails turn into weekly updates on the babe.  And the emails that used to say "Your baby is the size of a large banana" now say "Your baby should be smiling at you now."  And now you know if your baby is or is not smiling at you.  And if he isn't, well.... FEAR.

For instance, the one I got today says Drew should be giving me "belly laughs."

Y'all.

"Belly Laughs?"  He laughs, sure.  But is it a belly laugh?  They don't define belly laugh.  Should he sound like Santa Claus?  If he did sound like Santa Claus, would that be a problem?  How do I elicit a belly laugh?

The emails don't ask answer any of those questions.  They simply tell me what he "should" be doing. 

Is this how the next 18 years will be?  I may have to delete myself from those lists.... :)