Dear Mailman,

You remember last Wednesday when I opened the door holding a baby wearing a floral dress and you (a) asked if it was mine (??) and then(b) proclaimed her "a little boy" (?? Floral?  Dress?).  I was a little annoyed with you at that point.

But today, when you came to my door and RANG THE DOORBELL just minutes after both my kids fell asleep and woke them both up, well, you are taking your life into your own hands.  Exhausted mamas of two cannot be held responsible for what might happen next.

Lindsey